Hillary Clinton gives Incredibly Important Interview, outlining pro-pepper, anti-snake platform

While critics say self-declared democratic socialist Bernie Sanders is “wasting his time rambling on and on” about financial chicanery and exploitation on Wall Street and growing poverty on Main Street, fellow Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is conducting crucially significant interviews with celebrities, in which she details her unique culinary preferences and distinctive fondness of dating.

A public relations company sent BenNorton.com an Incredibly Important Interview with Clinton Thursday, detailing some of the most substantive points in her political platform.

press release hillary interview peppers snakes

The Incredibly Important Interview (III) with the celebrity-founder of The Conversation, Amanda de Cadenet, gives voters a glimpse into some of Clinton’s primary political views.

While fellow candidate Sanders has been blasted by Clinton’s supporters as “too sad and sour and angry and political all. the. time.”, Clinton insists “we need more love, kindness and nurturing in the world,” Lead Dog Marketing revealed in its press release on the III.

In perhaps the most compelling, and even surprising, moment in the press release on the III, which was conducted for Lifetime, Clinton reveals that she loves hot peppers, but fears snakes.

Clinton’s controversial pro-capsicum, anti-serpent platform is bound to alienate some voters, experts say. Specialists however also note that the boldness and bravery the former secretary of state has displayed in taking such an unpopular stance may in fact help her in the long term, in her heated battle against what critics say is “an out-of-touch unabashed Red” and “soi-disant ‘revolutionary'” whose stance on culinary treats is not even clear.

Perhaps the most touching moment of the press release on the III was when Clinton confided in the celebrity-founder her “respect for her mother’s resiliency.” Again, Sanders may condemn Clinton’s close ties to America’s most endearing and remarkable institution, Wall Street, or her support for what he strangely dubs “regime change,” but any neutral observer can see how Clinton’s maternal love only parallels her passion for life-saving humanitarian intervention, experts told BenNorton.com.

Yet the most compelling and surprising, and touching and striking, not to mention brave, moment of the press release on the III came when the former secretary of state — who oversaw the NATO military campaign that used lots of bombs to bring much-needed freedom and democracy to the ungrateful people of Libya — divulged her biggest secret: Her “appreciation for date nights with” her husband Bill, the former U.S. president, who saved America by ridding it of what experts say was a “grossly unfair” system of welfare that, “in effect, benefited the poor at the expense of the rich.”

“Sitting down with Secretary Clinton was a distinct honor and something I had always wanted to do,” remarked celebrity-founder de Cadenet in the touching press release on the III. “I could not be more thrilled to share a personal rather than political side of Secretary Clinton with the Lifetime audience in this intimate interview.”

The breaking press release on the III saved the best for last, however. It reveals that, when asked about “the best advice she’s ever received,” presidential candidate Clinton responded in the most politically nuanced way possible.

“By far my mother’s advice,” Clinton replied with the virtuosity and flair of what specialists say can only be the next president of the United States of America. “She gave me lots of it but one I remember is you have to decide whether you’re going to be the lead in your own life or an extra in somebody else’s,” the political virtuosa and canonical American philosopher added.

Those aren’t just words of wisdom, Clinton’s supporters told BenNorton.com — although they “epitomize the enlightenment Yaaas Slay Queen Hillary has achieved,” they stressed. Clinton’s comments — “which closely resemble a haiku,” supporters pointed out — also hold the key to political success in the world.

If anything, the press release on Clinton’s latest interview with the celebrity-founder has already established itself as a vitally significant historical document, supporters, experts and specialists all said in unanimous agreement.