N.B. This article is satire.
Disclaimer: This article is satire. It is not real journalism.
(2 October 2012)
Last night, the Supreme Court, in an almost unanimous vote (you know who dissented), declared the indefinite detention provision of the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) as “blatantly unconstitutional.”
“This provision violates virtually every right I could possibly think of. It sweeps habeas corpus under a rug and asks us to forget what happened to it,” remarked Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court Stephen Breyer.
“What’s ‘habes-‘r-us corpses’?” asked a civilian bystander that happened to walk by.
“And what did happen to it?” asked another.
However, Obama has not wavered on the subject, still maintaining his hardline obduracy. In a tweet created several minutes after the court came to its pronouncement, Obama wrote, “supreme court? ndaa? LULZ. im Prez. i do what i want.”
This follows a several month-long skirmish between Obama and Federal Judge Katherine Forrest, who fought to permanently block the provision. Judge Forrest indeed blocked the provision numerous times, yet the Obama administration put an emergency freeze on her decision and finagled its way all the way to the Supreme Court.
As the Obama’s tweet suggests, many are skeptical as to whether the court’s decision will have any bearing on the president’s decisions.
“It is clear he is just going to keep illegally imprisoning, not to mention killing, poor, brown people, whose only crimes were being born in the wrong part of the planet,” commented Daniel Ellsberg, a former United States military analyst, famous for releasing the Pentagon Papers in 1971.
Ellsberg, along with noted intellectual dissident Noam Chomsky, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author Chris Hedges, et al., filed a lawsuit against President Obama last August, arguing that the NDAA likely violates the first and fifth Amendments.
When asked why Obama would ignore the court’s unambiguous declaration, Chomsky answered, “Why, it’s very simple, really. The United States is moving, and quite rapidly, at that, from a police state into a military dictatorship. Those pesky rights are very inconvenient to those in power. If you would like to learn more, read one of my books.”
Dr. Chomsky has written over 100 books.
Chris Hedges was asked the same. “Read one of his books,” he replied, pointing to Professor Chomsky.