(Unanswered) Questions for Shill Anderson Cooper

The title of this piece should more appropriately be


(Unanswered) Questions for Shill Anderson Cooper:
(and Why CNN Sucks).

CNN is absolutely revolting. I have written extensively before about how the public perception of Bill Maher as a “left-leaning,” or even “leftist” (*pukes*), figure makes the reactionary tool much more dangerous than a figure like Glenn Beck, whom everyone knows to be a bigoted, proto-fascist slimeball. The same applies for CNN. Its “liberal” connotations make it a much more subtle and effective tool for corporate and imperialist propaganda.

Anderson Cooper is a perfect example of how this socio-political phenomenon works. The network he works for is a moral-less propaganda machine, interested not in the creation of accurate news, but in the creation a product it meticulously colors and shapes to meet the demands of its liberal hungry consumers (audience), liberal capitalist sponsors (corporations), and liberal imperialist supervisor (government). (I have written extensively before about this phenomenon as well: the corporatization of the news, of information itself).

Last night, I went to an event featuring Anderson Cooper. It goes without saying that I didn’t go to hear his histrionic, superficial drivel; I went to ask a question at the Q&A session. I’ve been to countless events like this, and, as has been the case with virtually all of such events, I expected some kind of Q&A session at the end. I figured (in a presumption I later found to be absolutely accurate–if you don’t believe me, check out the homogeneous groveling accolades here) that all the individuals asking questions there would be head-over-heels liberals who could hardly blush enough to stand, yet alone speak, in His holy presence. I wanted some kind of voice representing the actual Left (big L), and not the center-rightist Democrat “left” (little l).

Instead of a lecture or speech, the event turned out to be a 1-hour public interview–ahem, “public” interview. Okay, that’s fine. More room for questions from the audience, right?

Wrong.

In lieu of taking, oh, you know, actual questions from actual people there, the hosts most conveniently sifted through only the questions submitted by email beforehand, choosing a few innocuous ones. (I’m still not quite sure how we were supposed to know that we were supposed to submit questions online before the prevent. Perhaps precognition?)

No Q&A session was allowed. The event was much too expensive to allow the ignorant peons in the audience to waste any precious minutes on what was important to them. They were there to listen, after all–not speak, Ford forbid!

To make the event at least seem democratic, however, they asked the audience to tweet questions with the (now quite ironic) hashtag #SpeakBlue (thereby effectively silencing anyone there without a smart phone). They claimed they would choose some of these tweeted questions at the end of the program, and present them to Cooper.

They lied of course.

They ignored ALL of the 100+ questions submitted via Twitter (most of which were harmless nonsense–“What’s your favorite Breaking Bad character?!” *head explodes from excitement*). Censoring the audience by limiting questions to only those screened by the host is one thing; limiting all potential questions to only 140 characters–and therefore simplifying and dulling down all potential questions–is another. But ignoring the censored, watered-down questions that you claimed you would ask is a whole new ball game.

Welcome to #democracy™.
*shoots self in foot* *shoots foot in self*

Throughout the speech, I drafted numerous questions. I quickly noticed that they were ignoring the rapidly building-up Twitter questions. I hence assumed there would be segment devoted to the Twitter questions, after the email questions (most of which were submitted by university professors and city elites–did I mention that?) were exhausted. Presuming that a max of only 1 of my questions would potentially be answered, I held on to them, waiting to flood all the questions at once, upon the Twitter segment’s arrival, thereby increasing the probability of one of my questions being addressed. Alas, the Twitter Q&A session never came. The event wrapped up suddenly; it was announced the “last question” was being asked. I quickly submitted my (unanswered) questions for shill Anderson Cooper, investigating why, and just how much, CNN sucks at providing actual, substantive “news.”

That night, an individual at the event tweeted Cooper, asking if he would answer a few of the ignored questions.

It goes without saying he didn’t answer. He was getting paid big buck$ to speak; he doesn’t care about our questions.

Upon sharing this Storify, a friend and comrade, Curtis Morrison—-the guy who, like a good muckraking badass, risked (and lost) his job secretly recording criminal sociopath Mitch McConnell, thereby exposing just how morally bankrupt the Right and the left (note: little l) are in this country–most flatteringly said it “holds people in power accountable who claim to hold people in power accountable.”

He messaged me a few moments after I posted it. “Give me your address and I’ll mail you this shirt. Lol,” he wrote, posting the following two pictures of a shirt he bought in his old liberal journalist days.

andersoon cooper shirt back
andersoon cooper shirt front
*sighs*
*dives headfirst into meat grinder*