David Petraeus divulges the simple secret to liberating Afghanistan: “unleash America’s airpower”

Superpatriot® David Petraeus has divulged unto the world the simple secret to liberating Afghans from their inherent backwardness and self-imposed tyranny, and in none other than the hallowed pages of the Washington Post.

In fact, the former CIA director has enlightened the world with the quick fix to not just Afghanistan’s problems, but to every problem imaginable: MORE BOMBS!

wash post airpower afghan

Petraeus’ majestic op-ed was, naturally, co-written with Michael O’Hanlon, one his benevolent brethren at the Brookings Institution — the elites’ always reliable think tank, which has been churning out the hawkish liberal intelligentsia and putting the “institution” in institution since it was founded exactly 100 years ago (on the eve of the evil Russian Revolution, no less!).

“It’s time to unleash America’s airpower in Afghanistan” is of course the archetypal American’s poetic and nuanced way of saying “Bomb the Hell out of ’em!”

After all, the Golden Rule of US foreign policy is “There’s nothing a good bomb can’t fix.”

The retired Army general is absolutely on fire! (Well, not literally, but Afghans doubtless soon will be.) First Petraeus proposed using “moderate” al-Qaeda members to fight ISIS; now he wants more US bombing in Afghanistan.

There’s absolutely nothing that can go wrong with either strategy!

Remember the adage, kids:

“If at first you don’t succeed,
Bomb, bomb, bomb again!”

Petraeus should propose this utterly foolproof idea to the Doctors Without Borders faculty at the hospital in Kunduz, Afghanist—oh wait…