See, this is why I’m a voluntaryist! It’s not the job of the government to help the needy–that makes people lazy and unaccountable. No, the job of the government is to protect Property Rights (with violence, of course)–well, and protect foreign markets, and domestic markets, and prevent popular uprisings, and murder thieves, and protect Almighty Property Rights! (Did I say that one yet?)
Rather, it’s the job of rich people who are tired of the loose change clanking in their gold-lined, silk designer pockets, and large corporations who, out of the kindness of their heart, offer us all complimentary mini muffins for a whole 30 minutes!